Austrian DH National Champs- “Next time I will give everything and being ready to fail rather than having a solid slow run and “don’t fail”

After my successful weekend in Saalbach – at the bike and beats festival, where I placed 2nd at thegrass old school dual slalom I moved on to Tirol to take part at the DH national champs and something very strange happened to me. In all years of racing I didn’t have the drive to give everything. I was racing without any emotion at all. Maybe because I was tired from the last weeks or maybe the suddenly coming bladder infection stopped me. I don’t know. I also got a new Manitou Dorado Fork just the day before so my bike was it for sure not it worked so well.
Training went fine. I slept well and had good support from my boyfriend. So all good I thought.
Everyone was sliding and crashing around on this super slippery muddy surface. But not me, I managed to stay on my bike the whole weekend I haven’t even crashed once. Now retrospective I think I was just to slow or didn’t try to reach my limits.
On Sunday at the start I just wanted to have a solid run and no crash what I did but that meant also a very devastating result. I cruised down the hill and just at the finish line, without knowing my placement, I realized that I hadn’t given everything and wished to do another run.  But that’s racing and competing you have only one chance and should “go for it or go home”.
On the way home I started to think a lot about my run and my strange feeling at the start and swore to myself.
“Next time I will give everything and being ready to fail rather than having a solid slow run and “don’t fail”. The watch says maybe the same but I take the risk and can say at the end I tried my best !!! ”